Wednesday September 26 The First Ultrasound

September 26 - the Ultrasound

This morning was the ultrasound.  Saw my neighbor George.  George, Susan and their sister Julie live next door to me.  They have been her 9 years, so have known Ernie for a long time.  They always babysit him when I go out of town.  When they moved in they brought their female lab Ali.  Ernie and Ali LOVED each other!!  They were together as best buds for 7 years.  Ali is with us in spirit now.  She also had cancer, but it wasn't discovered until it was too late.  It was very very sad to lose her.  And Ernie lost a best pal.

Anyways, I stopped George to tell him something was going on with Ernie.  Of course it didn't come out with the tears starting....  and continuing.  It was so hard to speak the words that Ernie was not well and it could very well be something serious.  But I was glad I told George.  He was concerned and saddened and tried to stay positive.

I finished getting ready to take Ernie, but was really procrastinating.  I finally got out the door and the vets office called. Where was I?  The ultrasound people just called.  OH NO I thought!  I am going to miss my appointment!!  I ran to the car and we jumped in and I drove about 90 MPH to the vets. I got there and said - am i on time?? And she said, oh well they will be here between 12 and 1....  phew.  but whoa...  thank goodness i didn't get a ticket!

So the deal was that I would drop Ernie off and then they would call me when the mobile ultrasound folks were on their way.  Then i could come and be with him during the procedure.  But she said I might only have 10 minutes notice.  Well that meant no going back to work ....  there would be no way I could get there in time.  And really - how could I work?? I decided that when i left I would just wait at home.  So they took Ernie to the back.  Well they tried.  He didn't want to go, so i had to walk back there with him.  I gave the leash to the tech and he hit the brakes and looked at me.  It was really hard... He has never been left at a vets office alone in his life.  I turned and left.

When I got home I really couldn't settle....  I called a friend and chatted for an hour or so.  She is does energy work on animals, and is very nice and understand what i was going through.  And at this point not many people knew what was going on (I didn't know yet either!) so it was nice to chat with someone all the way in Minnesota.  After hanging up I decided to go to the Catholic bookstore and pick up a St. Francis Medal.  Ernie has lost his, so I wanted to get him another one.  I couldn't seem to locate it, and its right on main street by my house.  So I picked up my phone to get the address.  It was 11:11....  I called 411 and the recording gave me the address....  111 Main St.  wow.  all these ones...  anyway - I found the store and it was great.  Got a medal and a few extras too and headed towards the vet clinic to find a coffee shop.

Found a coffee shop and got an iced coffee.  After I bought it I decided it probably wasn't the best choice since i was already quite nervous and completely filled with anxiety.  Left and got into my car and decided to keep driving towards the clinic and maybe find a Starbucks for some passion tea.  I just keep driving and before I knew it was driving right past the clinic when my phone rang.  It was them.!!  They said the ultrasound people would be there soon.  I said "oh ...  Umm.. I am pretty close, I will be there soon" ..  so I did a u turn and showed up.

When they called me back to the procedure Ernie was already on his back in a foam cradle and he looked pretty terrified.  His stomach was shaved.  I went to him and just petted him and talked softly.  I was actually quite calm.  The ultrasound vet was the vet who comes to the zoo.  I didn't know him - but thought it was great he is the guy we use.  Guess because he is mobile.

He commented to me as he did the procedure.  Noting things that looked good and normal.  And then the spleen.  he said it was mottled - but no tumors.  yahoo!!  but ... then he said it looks like it would if it was lymphoma.  he said if it was hemangiosarcoma we would be heading into surgery right now.  But lymphoma is treatable, but has to be done right away.  At that point I was so relieved that there weren't any tumors and all his nodes looked clear that i was like.  Well ok.  Lymphoma.. Treatable..  That is all I heard.  And so I said - can Ernie go to Pinetop??  and the ultrasound vet said yes! go! have fun :)  Then my vet came in and he told her what he saw and she was shocked.  Not what she expected.  and Oh no ..  And I was thinking what's the big deal.  there aren't any tumors. yay!  his nodes are clear. yay!  And he can go to Pinetop!The diagnosis at this point still meant nothing to me.    They then needed to do a biopsy to confirm.  And at this point I was also thinking, well if they have to do a biopsy then of course there is room for error.  Of course they are wrong and Ernie just has a funky spleen that is 2 1/2 times larger than it should be.  He has always been an unique canine.....

They finished the exam and got Ernie down and we put him back in the kennel.  I started to talk to Dr. King and then it HIT me.  We went to her office.  And talked.

I left and went to pick up some dog food.... and pick up my friend who was in town.  I was so glad he was here.  I so needed a really good friend to talk to.

Tuesday 25 September The vet visit and discovery

25 September 2012

So there we were at the vet.  He stepped on the scale and had lost 6 pounds.  My stomach flipped over. The month earlier he had been on a diet to get rid of about 5 pounds or so.  He has always been a very active dog, but had put on a few extra pounds and that really doesn't help with a dogs aging joints.  However, I hadn't planned on that quick of a weight loss, and that's when i started to get a bit worried.   

The vet came in - Dr. Betsy King who I absolutely adore and Ernie does too.  She is a holistic vet as well as a traditional vet - so i get the best of both worlds.  She looked Ernie over and said she just really felt he didn't fell comfortable and would really like to get X-rays.  I asked wow, how much - but not sure why because it didn't matter.  They were going to be done.  So off Ernie and her went while I waited and tried not to panic.

Well..........  she came back and went to pull of the X-rays..  hmm somethings up, I will be right back she said.  Well turns out only one turned out, but she said it was enough to see that his spleen was quite enlarged.  And that Ernie was very very scared :(((  during the X-rays so she didn't want to repeat them, she saw enough to know his spleen is at least two times its normal size.  OH MY GOD. What does that mean?  I am freaking out.  Well.... it could be this or that and worst case scenario - hemangiosarcoma. WHAT?!?  She said..  worst case.. Lets not go down that road!  Ummm okay dokey.  So she said the next step was an ultrasound.  Either at an office, or she could have the mobile vet come in then I could be there with him.   Mobile Vet it was.  She asked if i would baby sit some needles why she went to make calls, and i said of course.  My vet also happens to be an acupuncturist, so she gave Ernie a gratis treatment to soothe his aging hip.  She left.  I waited.  

Lucky enough the mobile vet could come tomorrow.  But they don't come at a specific time - kind of like a repairman kind of deal.  So to be sure i didn't miss the appointment, I would need to drop Ernie in the morning, and then wait for a call.  ok.  that's fine I guess.

I was already a mess...  Ernie might need surgery, or worse have cancer.  or or or or

I left the room and paid my giant bill and went home.  Bleah.

I let my friend know our trip might be off because Ernie might have to have surgery but I wouldn't know a thing until tomorrow.  I didn't tell anyone else.  It was ok.  Everything would be okay.

next ....  the ultrasound...

The Beginning of the beginning

This is the beginning of Ernie's journey...  His journey with Lymphoma.  Ernie is a approximately 13 1/2 year old mixed breed dog.  I say approximately because I got him from a rescue shelter 12 years ago.  Well... August of 2012 to be exact.  Anyways....  I thought if i wrote about the next path in his journey it might help me to cope and handle the situation in the most positive way possible.

It really started with me noticing that Ernie was getting a bit picky about his food.  I thought maybe it was the supplement that i had been adding for months, or because he was a senior.  So I tried removing the supplement (that helped) and adding more canned.  both seemed to make a bit of difference.  And then his breathing changed.  He was on the bed one night and he was breathing very loudly.  In fact, it kind of annoyed me, but I thought - hey he's older maybe his joints are aching.  I can deal, no problem.  I felt a little guilty, but I couldn't get to sleep.  Maybe you know how that goes.  Anywys,  he ended up getting up (he doesn't really sleep on the bed all night anyway and hasn't for a long time). But that night he seemed very restless.  I heard him get up a bunch of times, and the loud breathing continued.  Kind of like he was taking sniffs.  The next morning when I gave him breakfast he looked at me as if so say 'hey, i really don't feel well!'.  I decided he needed to go to the vet.  He was still doing all his normal things.  Getting up to go outside, visiting w/ the neighbors, etc.  But i could tell something was off.  In fact I had been at my friends on Saturday and he just seemed restless ...  Just not so sure what it was.  

I was planning on going to Pinetop, AZ with a friend who was coming from MI.  So I absolutely wanted to be sure that he was okay.  I guess I kind of thought that we would discuss his diet and his finicky attitude (in denial, of course it couldn't be lack of appetite).

So I made an appointment for the next day - the 25th of September.